The hairless Caucasian monkey snacks on mulberries
Its a beautiful Sunday with the Jacarandas making a stunning showing
eddy nagged me out of bed again & we went to crank the loop.
The Jacarandas & all their brethren were in full bloom all the way to the Cradle of Humankind. Every farmhouse had its tree dressed in that impossible purple. I love the colour. Wish I could buy a shirt in that exact shade. I’d be the biscuit.
We unloaded at Biden & raced down Stampede Hill. The day was already shaping up to be a scorcher, so we needed to move. On the stretch of road next to the Bloubankspruit we approached the P-Ness circle. The mulberries were ripening & the monkeys were having a feast. I thought I’d join them. I stopped, propped eddy against a road sign, & picked the ripe ones straight off the tree. They were lekker! Meanwhile, the rest of the Sunday morning cyclists, went on by, blissfully unaware of the spoils on offer.
“Monkey,” chirped eddy.
“Haaibo, eddy. I’m a hairless Caucasian monkey. Although I did admit to my grandfather that I was a baboon. Anyhow, not anything like this common vervet riffraff.”
I mounted up & headed for Mike’s van & a flat white. Along the way I saw the donkeys. My assumption that they had been boiled the previous week was wrong. I messaged Alec. He was happy they were still alive.
At the van a guy asked me if Eddy Merckx was still alive.
“I have no clue,” I replied. “I thought so, but he is long in the tooth.”
I mounted & set off on the loop again.
“When I get home, remind me to Google if the other Eddy is still alive, eddy.”
“You also long in the tooth,” eddy shot back.
“What advice do you have for a long-in-the-tooth 60-year-old eddy?”
eddy monologued. There are five things to stop doing after 60, he said. At this stage of your life it is no longer about proving yourself.
Stop worrying over your adult children. Guide them & pray for them, but they have to face life on their own.
Stop working with the exhaustion of your youth. Your body’s energy has changed, so accept it gracefully. Aim for balance, not burnout, & treat rest as maintenance rather than laziness.
Stop staying silent to avoid conflict. Speaking honestly & calmly when something hurts or disrespects you protects your dignity. It isn’t rude.
Stop sacrificing yourself endlessly. After decades of giving, your life & joy matter too. Aging makes you wiser, not less valuable, & rest is your right.
Create memories.
“That is insightful, eddy. Where did you get that?”
“YouTube,” he deadpanned.
“You been using my phone again while I’m asleep?”
“Of course!”
“Well now. The Romans were great at building civilisations & they had no YouTube, boet.”
“Tell me about the Romans,” eddy egged me on.
“Well, they ruled from the bath. They conquered the world from the bath. Their engineering was all so that they could have a bath. The bath was it. I can’t think without being in a bath & neither can I sleep properly unless I’ve had a bath,” I concluded.
“You were a Roman in a previous life?” questioned eddy.
“Yes,” I said. “Julius Caesar.”
“You no Roman as you never bath me,” said eddy.
“I do clean you, eddy, but I’ll do it more often.”
“I’m waiting, Mastelek. We conquer the current world, né?”
“Yebo.”
Taking a leaf from Alec’s book, I buzzed everyone back up Stampede Hill & celebrated at the top like a conquering Roman dictator.
I loaded eddy & on the way decided to stop over to meet Jose & have some Belgian waffles with strawberries & ice cream. It was a scorcher, but that, downed with a Coke under the shade of a syringa tree, was perfect.
You know eddy, I said I would like a frozen orange juice.
Some days the loop is just the loop. Other days it’s purple trees, cheeky monkeys, living donkeys, second-hand YouTube wisdom, & a quiet reminder that even at sixty you can still ride like you mean it, & still stop for waffles.